My father has taught me valuable lessons in life.
I have not thanked him for these. I want to thank him by sharing these nuggets
of wisdom I learned from him.
My father was a strict disciplinarian. When I was
young, we had curfew at six in the evening. When I remember this, I also
remember this one afternoon I had to climb down our window and slide down to a
papaya tree that stood beside our house. I used to slide in it when I escape the
afternoon naps, but this one was different. It was nearly 6 o'clock and one of
my sisters was still out, probably playing "alog"
[Alog
is a childhood game we play, where three soft drink caps are shaken and thrown.
Each of the two players owns a cap we called our "pato" and the other
cap is "panabla." After throwing the caps, the one that lands facing
differently wins the bet - which ranges
from rubber bands, candy wrappers, broken dishes, etc. My Ate Sann plays this
pretty well.]
Now here was the problem of getting up. We could
not use the main door as we might meet Tatay along the way; so we went up the
same route I came down - up the papaya tree, to the roofs, then the windows and
boom? We're saved.
It was nerve-wrecking then, but it's kind of funny
now. Yet, in all of these I have learned a lesson. What has this experience
taught me apart from going up and sliding down a papaya tree?
If there's anything Tatay's curfew have taught me,
it’s caring for my siblings. Of course, way back then, the only reason why I
fetched my sister was that we were all afraid that if Tatay came home and one
of us was missing, we would all get a good spank in our derrières; but all
those years of making sure everyone was home before six was a training of
loving and looking after each other. I
thank Tatay for that. We grew up taking care of each other because of Tatay’s
discipline.
Another thing that Tatay taught me was not to use
expletives. Nanay is exempted to this rule. I had no idea why. I am very
grateful that Tatay was very strict about this because I see or hear people
that use expletives like munching peanuts. It’s their default expression.
Usually, when they tell an incident or a story, it is peppered with expletives ‘Pu****
I**’ or its derivative, ‘T***na!’ This is how it's like:
#$@&%*!, pare, nakakita ako ng kotse,
#$@&%*!, pre ang ganda, #$@&%*! talaga!
You get the idea, right? You might even know some people who talk that
way. If that is a 5-sentence story, there will be around 10 expletives in it.
I thought it was just the because of his
environment, maybe he grew up in a place where expletives are commonplace. I
may be wrong because in my current work, I had a colleague, a graduate of a prestigious university, that tells stories
the same way the person I mentioned above does. The only difference is that he
talks about branded rubber shoes.
I asked him to refrain from using expletives when
I was around because I honestly find it offensive. He tried but he struggled
because it was one hard habit to break. I understand him. I hope he understands
me too because we grew up differently. I thank Tatay because he instilled in us that discipline; cursing is one habit I don't have to deal with.
When Tatay asks us to do something, he would often
mention this Bible verse:
“Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all
your might, for in the realm of the dead, where you are going, there is neither
working nor planning nor knowledge nor wisdom.” [(Ecclesiastes 9:10]
My father can be best described as perfectionist.
Big or small projects would be drawn and measured accurately. He would not
settle for anything less. My Nanay describes his craft as “pulido.” That’s what I want to learn from Tatay – to do all
things with all my heart.
To my Tatay, who will no longer hear any words I would say because he would be lying, waiting for day of Christ’s return, Happy birthday Tatay.
Even if you could no longer read this, Mahal kita, Tatay!
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